10.09.2010

I Seem To Be...I Really Am...

I seem to be
kind of hyperactive
(well.
maybe not kind of)
one who dances without music
--it's all in my head--
and skips around with little children
and jumps for no apparent reason
and talks a bit too much
and also likes to lie down
in the middle of the floor.
which i kind of am
but:
actually:
you might not guess that
I really am
a quiet spirit
(enclosed
within a bouncing shell)
one who lies awake at night
wondering about beauty
and in the morning smiles
because
beauty is.
and sometimes only watches
from a distance
seeing much but staying silent
and contemplates the mysteries
of growing up, and
words
and rhythms and
how they make us need to move
and having personalities
at all.

I seem to be
nice
(or
so people tell me)
one who cares for others
and takes their interests as my own
enjoyable to talk to
sympathetic
and fun.
which i'm not sure i seem to be at all
but:
if so:
you wouldn't think that really,
none of that is me.
because really I'm
proud of all my talents
and accomplishments
(which
aren't even really mine, you see)
and all I actually care about
is me
because I'm the center of my world
and deep inside I think you'd do well
to realize and remember it--
but thank the living God, my Father,
because
bit by bit
He's taking that away.

I seem to be
everlastingly, strikingly, achingly,
abundantly, overwhelmingly, greatly,
extremely
happy.
Guess what?

I really am.

-Del

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